Perfectionists Anonymous

Welcome, please come in.

Good to see you.

I’m Ray, and welcome to our meeting. Name tags are on the table. Please take one, fill it out, grab some water, and join us in the circle. I’m glad you came.

And so the meeting begins.

In a perfect world . . . ah, yes, that “perfect world.”

For the majority of my life, I have lived with this asset, or liability, blessing or curse, depending on how you look at it. Perhaps we should just call it a personality trait. Not to be confused with a personality disorder.

A perfectionist is a person who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection.

For the perfectionist, every “i” must be dotted, and every “t” must be crossed, with no exceptions. If you are one, or know one, you understand that life can be rather stressful for the perfectionist. Trying to make sure everything is perfect can create an abundance of stress, on many levels, mental and physical.

More than anything, perfectionism is about fear.

Fear of failure.
Fear of making a mistake.
Fear of disappointing someone.

From my earliest years in school, I can remember, hating test days. Nothing was good enough except a perfect score. Anything less than 100% was not acceptable on any test. Can I just say, “STRESS FULL?”

Every project had to be perfect. Every job that I was involved in had to be without flaw. There was no room for error.

As a Believer, this spilled over into my Christian walk and, I found myself trying to live a perfect life. On those days when I thought I did pretty good, I felt God loved me and accepted me. But on those days when I realized that I didn’t get everything right, I felt that God was not pleased, and I would have to have a few “near perfect” days to gain His love back.

There was such a relief the day a light came on, and I understood that God loves me — period. Good days, bad days, days when I get it right, and days when I get it wrong — God loves me. I can never do anything to make Him love me more, and I will never do anything that will cause Him to love me less.

I am still, somewhat of a perfectionist, but thank God, I am not who I used to be. I have not yet arrived. I am a work in progress. But because I now understand that I am a work in progress, I no longer feel the pressure to be perfect today.

I’m reminded of a song from many years ago that went something like this:

He’s still working on me, to make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars, the sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be, ‘cause He’s still working on me.

If you are a perfectionist, understand that not only is living a perfect life improbable, it is also impractical.

Perfectionists spend a lot of time looking at their feet, making sure of their next step, while missing many amazing opportunities around them. How many thoughts, ideas, or creations are lost in our minds trying to perfect them, instead of just trying them and perfecting them as we go?

Perfectionism measures the efforts of a beginner against the finished work of a master. Don’t be captured by comparison.

God loves you just as you are, but He loves you too much to leave you that way. The progress is in the process. Stay pliable in the process.

Unfortunately, it’s not a perfect world. We’re all humans, and humans make mistakes, but we don’t have to give up.

Our steps are ordered and made secure by the Lord, because He delights in our way. Though we stumble we shall not fall, for the Lord will hold us up with His hand. Psalm 37:23-24

If you’re struggling because of mistakes in your past, or if you feel you just can’t measure up, remember — God loves you, He’s for you, and He’s not giving up.

God uses imperfect people in impossible situations to accomplish His impeccable plan. 

I had to laugh as I completed this post — a perfectionist takes six weeks to write a short blog post on perfectionism.

Oh well, I’m not perfect, but I’m . . .

Still Believing!