Time marches on, but emotions still cloud my mind on October 7, even though it’s been six years. It’s difficult to explain, but no matter how long it’s been, there are times when something will trigger my mind and it suddenly becomes harder to breathe. Times when only one person is missing, and yet the whole world seems empty.
Grief is not a destination, unless you allow it. Grief is a process that happens over time. Time has provided a distance, and that distance has afforded manageability. Managing grief as opposed to getting over grief was a revelation for me. The day I realized this, was a turning point in my process.
Today, I remember and honor Vicki for her life, her love, and her legacy that continues on.
A legacy is not simply leaving something “for” people, but rather leaving something “in” people.
Throughout her life, Vicki carried many titles — daughter, sister, wife, mother, school teacher, Bible teacher, life teacher, worship leader, pastor, mentor, realtor, among others. With each of these titles, Vicki carried a heart of love and compassion for all those lives she touched. Regardless of her title, she, without fanfare, shared her lessons on a daily basis with those willing to learn.
Vicki received a diploma in Elementary Education, which recognized her “officially” as a teacher, but long before an educational system bestowed on her the title of “teacher,” something was already planted inside of her. Vicki was a teacher not only by degree, but by decree. She was born to be a teacher, to make a difference in others.
Teaching was not difficult for Vicki. It came naturally. She simply opened the gifts God had placed within her, and shared them with the world. School teacher, Bible teacher, life teacher — it didn’t matter, she sincerely opened her heart and gave to those around her. A classroom, or a platform was not necessary for her lessons. All she needed was a few minutes of your time, and she could connect with your heart.
When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure. Those memories of Vicki, and the lessons she taught have truly become treasures. Valued treasures, not only in my life, but in so many others that have been changed through their connections with her.
Sadly, we never realize the real value of someone until they become a memory. It has been said that a picture is worth a thousand words, but memories are priceless. Memories can be very confusing. They make us laugh when we remember the times we cried, but make us cry when we remember the times we laughed.
Today, memories overwhelm my mind, as I replay moments of our lives together. Laughing, crying, good times, tough times, sunshine, storm clouds, but through it all still committed to God and to each other, even when life happened. Reflection of those moments reveal images of amazing lessons that Vicki taught, that I was not even aware of at the time.
The seeds of her lessons are still bearing fruit today.
Deposits that she made in others are still producing dividends.
A lot of things that Vicki said and a lot that she did have now been forgotten, but for those who knew her, they still remember how she made them feel. Her sparkling blue eyes and her radiant smile could light up any room and capture a heart in an instant. Her outer beauty was rivaled only by her inner beauty.
The irony of grief is that the person you want to talk to about how you feel is the person who is no longer here.
Vicki, though you may be absent from my natural eyes, you are not forgotten, and I am convinced that you are more alive today than ever. I continue to be reminded of the power of one, and the enormous difference one person can make in the world. I am a life that has been changed by your life, your love, and your legacy. I, along with Melody, Matt, Jenny, Cadence, and a host of friends will carry the lessons that you taught for many years to come.
As each year passes, for me there are still more questions than answers. And yet, I’ve made my peace with God, and I no longer feel the need to find all the answers, as I have become content to trust my unanswered questions to an all-knowing God.
Memories have become treasures, and I’m . . .
Still Believing!
This was so beautiful Ray
She was definitely one of a kind ♥️ This was beautiful!
Beautiful words for her memory. Vicki was a beautiful , giving and talented Lady. I will never forget a time I was at your house with Melody and it was raining in your back yard and not in your front yard . Vicki used that as an illustration for our lives.
I can’t even imagine you must miss her. Heaven gets sweeter everyday.
God Bless you Brother and your Family.
I know I’m only one of many that loved Vicki dearly and was touched by her love and example. She could turn the most insignificant thing into a life lesson. I remember watching her dance in praise before the Lord…oh how I loved her enthusiasm in praise and her understanding of how our praise is often what wins the battle.
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful tribute to our Vicki.