Gone Too Soon

There are times it seems like yesterday, but other times it seems so far away.  Five years ago, Vicki transitioned from this earthly home to her heavenly home.  And even after five years, it’s hard to explain, but emotions still run deep on October 7.  I will not pretend it has been an easy journey, but it has been a most educational process.  The things that God has taught me, and continues to teach me during this season, have been quite amazing.  At this point I am convinced, there are lessons learned by going through something that cannot be learned by getting over something.

One of the most valuable things that I have learned is that time does not heal everything.  Good-intentioned people would tell you this, and in actuality, may even believe this.  But, I have learned differently.  Time does produce a distance, and distance affords manageability.  Managing grief, as opposed to “getting over” grief, is the key.  The ability to manage my grief was an important lesson that God taught me during this process.

There’s never a day, or night, that passes, that I don’t think of Vicki.  The impact she had on my life was far beyond any words that can be posted here.  In previous posts I have shared many of those experiences that helped shape my life.  Sometimes you never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.

Those who knew Vicki, loved Vicki.  It was not difficult, and it didn’t take long to connect with her.  If fact, many times a short conversation was often all that it took.  More than once, I remember Vicki receiving calls from people she did not know, asking for information concerning a house or some real estate question, and within minutes she was speaking to them as if they were her long, lost friend.  Her caring heart was not easy to conceal.  The fact was, Vicki loved people, and people sensed that, and people loved her.

As a teacher, I remember parents asking for their child to be placed in “Vicki’s room.”  Parents, as well as children, migrated to the smile that she radiated, and to her heart that she offered to everyone, regardless of economic status, age, race, creed, or color.  In a moments time they were captured by her heart, and could sense the sincerity of her love.

A familiar quote states, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

People may have forgotten many of the things Vicki said, and many of the things she did, but for those who knew her, they still remember how she made them feel.  Vicki had an innate ability to make people feel they were important, that they mattered, and that she cared.  This was not something Vicki learned, this was who Vicki was.

Every day is a gift.  Life is precious, but life is short.  Whether you live to be 20, 50, 80, or 100, life passes very quickly.  The older I get, it seems the faster time goes.  The Bible has put it this way, “You do not know what your life will be like tomorrow.  You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.”  James 4:14

I’m often reminded of a song from a few years ago that advised us to “Live Like You Were Dying.”  And we really should, because we really are.

Very seldom are we ready for our friends, or family, to depart.  Seems as though it’s always, “too soon.”  Yet, for the Believer, we understand that the life they step into is far greater than the life they leave.

To Vicki, I would say . . .
You left too soon, way too soon.  So young, you had so much to give and so much life to live, but God had other plans.  And though you, physically, may have left this earth, you have left your love and your legacy within those who knew you.  A part of you remains each day in the lives of those people you touched during your short time here.  Although you no longer live on this earth, you are more alive today, than you have ever been, and I know that you are living in a far better place.

Yes, gone too soon.  At least it seems that way to me.

You will always be loved, forever missed, but never forgotten.

And, by the way, I’m . . .

Still Believing!

12 Comments

  1. She is one in a million and I thank God I was privileged to know her if only for a while.
    Prayers going up for you all today as you remember Vicki today and always

  2. A true inspiration on the planet is one that’s never forgotten.
    And one that is expressed through those who were inspired by such an inspiration.
    Vicky Lowe was such an inspiration!
    Love you friend!

  3. Vicki was a rare individual for all those attributes you described, Ray. We all loved her. Your words about grief are perfect. We lost our oldest son, Geoff, and my mother in the last two years. Grief is a process not an action and everyone does it uniquely. Thank you .

  4. Ray,
    Wow, you truly captured who Vicki was. She definitely was love and treated everyone she talked to like they were at least for the moment the most important person in the world. You could feel you had her undivided attention, that was who she was, not what she did either in real estate or ministry. I am forever changed and blessed for having known her! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  5. Vicki was able to make others feel as though the were important. It didn’t matter who they were, what they looked like, smelled like, if they could promote her image or destroy her image (not even possible), she made everyone feel important. Vickie had a way with words too. She could take the most simple story and give it the deepest depth. I loved her Wednesday night lessons. She is greatly missed.

  6. We too think of her everyday we have a lantern that hangs by our fireplace that you both gave us when our house closed. We met you both years before that when our girls came before us to Tennessee. It is very true once we met Vicky friends forever you both have been involved in our life for over 12 years. Following you on Facebook many times has given us stronger faith and peace in our lives.

  7. Ray,

    These words are so true and as I read them I am reminded how fortunate we were that God placed you and Vicky in our lives. It was only a short time but Vicky made an impact on our life that will always be cherished. You are loved and so appreciated. May God continue to bless others, as he did us, by getting the opportunity to know you and to share Vicky’s legacy.

    Blessings,

    Josh and Heather Padgett

  8. My family’s first Sunday at Radiant Life was your 1-year anniversary being pastors there. You and Vicki invited us to stay for the celebration dinner the church served for you that day and a lifetime friendship was birthed. Vicki became one of my closest friends. No matter what she was doing or where she was, she was a teacher in every way. She had such a loving disposition and her legacy lives on, as is evident by all the accolades of those who were privileged to know her.
    I pray the comfort of the Holy Spirit over you and your family as you miss her, until we all meet again. And you, dear pastor, are not finished yet. You are a vital part of God’s kingdom. As my grandma used to say, “Keep looking up!”

    1. Ray,
      Vicki was a gift from God to you and your family. No matter the pain she was in she always had a big smile on her face, and the love of Christ exuded from her and you. Remembering the days the two of you pastored the church on Kiehl Avenue, dedicating my daughters and nieces to the Lord. What a special day. Precious memories to hold on to! Thank you for sharing the valuable life lessons you have learned walking through this process. Please know dear friend I am lifting you up to the Father asking Him to wrap His loving arms around you and love on you through the lonely times and give you hope for the future. God is not through with you. He has great plans for you.

  9. Ray,
    Vicki was always just Vicki. She was so down to earth and never tried to be anything or anyone other than herself. This was the reason so many people could relate to her. You are so blessed to have her in your life. I can’t imagine the loss you feel. I know your faith has been the strength to do so. Blessings!! Barbara Curtis

  10. Ray what a wonderful tribute to a wonderful lady. So enjoyed our time with you all at First Assembly in Little Rock many years ago. Great memories!

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