Getting Past The Past

Have you ever made a decision that didn’t produce the outcome that you had desired? Have you ever made a choice that you still regret? Have you ever second-guessed, third or fourth-guessed yourself? Perhaps you made a choice that revealed unexpected results. Days, weeks, months, or even years later, you had the thought, “What if I had chosen something different? What if I had taken the other road?”

Unexpected results often produce undesirable reflections.

When faced with choices, we will usually make the best decision we can, based on the information we have at the present time. However, once the decision is made, if we do not obtain the results we hoped for, we are prone to take up the “coulda, shoulda, woulda” questions and begin a juggling act in our mind. And take it from me, juggling is difficult and can be very frustrating.

The human mind is a powerful, yet crazy, thing. It will often lead us down paths that we have no business going, and to destinations we didn’t desire. We imagine what the results would have been, had we made another choice. And yet, it is all pure speculation. There is really no way to know what the results would have been, had we taken a different path. In fact, another path may have produced something worse than what we had experienced.

For several weeks following Vicki’s transition, I juggled so many questions in my mind. Vicki chose her path, and was very content with the decisions she made. I was fully supportive of her choices, but still the results were not what we had wanted, and I struggled with unanswered questions.

Could I have done more?

Should I have done something else?

Would I have tried to influence her more, had I known the outcome?

Each day we are all faced with choices. Some are relatively insignificant, such as what to wear today, which route to drive, or maybe what will I have for lunch. While others may be more significant, such as a new job offer, the purchase of a home, or what protocol should  be used for a health issue.

You may be stressing over a decision you made at some point in the past. It may be that you’re losing sleep wondering where you would be now, if you had made another choice. The anxiety over juggling “coulda, shoulda, woulda” can be devastating mentally, as well as physically. It may be a choice that you made years ago, and you still wonder, “What if?”

The analysis of past decisions can cause paralysis of future directions.

If you are feeling stuck and you’re tired of juggling what might have been, it’s important to understand, yesterday ended last night at midnight. Your past is a life lesson, not a life sentence. You can’t go back to the crossroads. You can’t turn back the clock or the calendar, and you cannot drive forward while looking in the rearview mirror.

The Apostle Paul put it this way, “Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.” Philippians 3:13

God is a master at redirecting, rebuilding, and restoring. 

The past is past.

Let it go.

Stop beating yourself up over the past.

You will never know the results of untaken paths.

There’s no denying, letting go of the past is often difficult, but to reach forward you can’t continue to look backward.

Have I mastered this? Hardly! I will be the first to admit, it’s much easier said than done. There are many days that I still struggle with juggling, but thankfully, I’m looking forward, I’m reaching forward, I’m moving forward, and I’m . . .

Still Believing!